Closing The Little Shop of Healers was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t quite fit into the business world where integrity is considered naiveté at best, stupidity at worst. My attention, focus and energy was all going to people managing and boring business stuff so a change was in order. My healing gifts were not being utilized, SO... I followed my divine guidance. I stepped into the shame. I stepped into the guilt. I stepped into the judgment and the fear. Once I had done that, all of this faded away and only space and peace were left. Ease, Joy, Grace, Peace and Kindness can bring more growth than you could ever imagine. Now looking back, I am so grateful for the many opportunities for relationship lessons and the new understanding I have gained. Since making the choice to change my focus and release all of that which weighed me down my gifts have increased exponentially. Downloads of information comes constantly. Following your guidance, no matter how scary or backward it seems is always a positive move.
I have been living a spiritual life as long and I can remember. I have always viewed the world different from those around me. This was alienating and I tended to not mention my ideas on a spiritual level very often because it was met with blank stares and awkward silence. However, in grade 7, I said to my parents that I wanted to be a massage therapist. You need to realize that at the time (many moons ago) there were very few RMT's anywhere, except for cruise ships, fancy spas or “the other type”. Looking back, I can understand my parents’ reservations to my goals. Knowing my path, I then only took the bare minimum of high school courses with my prerequisites included and was finished my secondary education several months early. As I sit here now, I have no idea how I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I watch many young adults struggle with this seeming huge decision all the time. It just felt natural and I never questioned it.
Now that I think of it, my entire life has been that way, with very few exceptions. I have always understood that there is a flow to life. A natural and easy path that each of us travels. I never realized that I was living my life any differently than The Jones’ down the street. I never noticed that others didn’t follow their inner knowing. Heck, I didn’t even realize that is what I was doing. But anytime an opportunity arose I was able to jump in my boat and follow that stream with ease. Whenever I have a question, someone comes along to answer it. When I was ready to find a mate, he came into my life in a matter of months. It sometimes scares me that most of the time I stand with hands on my hips in Forrest Gump fashion and say, “Well good, that is one less thing!” At times I have felt guilty of my ease of movement while watching the struggle that people go through to follow their dreams. I guess I just never bought into the “you have to work hard for your money” or “all good things come to those who work hard and wait.” That just seems insane to me. When did it become a virtue to work harder? Conversely, when did we begin to believe that the opposite was lazy and not as awesome? Maybe I should add Lazy to my credentials…well…maybe tomorrow. I’ll do that tomorrow.
I spent a lot of years in the positive thought movement and tried to make myself wrong for my thoughts. But, even working tirelessly on choosing the better feeling thought I would still have a thought when someone walked by me. I thought I was terribly judgmental and was making assumptions about that person’s appearance. I also thought I could not handle crowds and busy places. Then someone suggested that I may be an Empath. I have been doing this kind of work and searching and reading FOR YEARS and I didn’t even know what that was. It turns out that I have always felt others emotions and took them on as my own and thought I was completely F*&#Ked up! Once I realized what a gift this awareness can be, I have opened up to a new world.
You see, intuition comes in many forms. I thought, however, that the really amazing “Psychics” had visions like on a big screen HDTV complete with sound surround and had comprehensive understanding of all the running movie clips running across the screen for them (so not even close to true!!). It never occurred to me that my intuition is sentient and that my thoughts are not usually mine (the work with quieting the mind for years has paid off. Turns out I am now an airhead set to receive incoming messages. This is great as I do not have to spend time deciphering what the yellow rose in my vision means. Messages come as thoughts. Well if that is not AWESOME I do not know what is! If I hold my tongue just right as the moon is on the seventh day of waxing eclipse, I am psychic too. Just kidding, although that all helps. I have learned that when something fantastical happens or when an amazing session "happens" it was synchronicity. The client has to be open and willing as do I.